Slash Quotes

You will be run over by a bus.

Nothing cures insomnia like the realization that it's time to get up.

All I can think of is a platter of organic PRUNE CRISPS being trampled by an army of swarthy, Italian LOUNGE SINGERS ...

How many "coming men" has one known! Where on earth do they all go to? -- Sir Arthur Wing Pinero

May you die in bed at 95, shot by a jealous spouse.

What do you have when you have six lawyers buried up to their necks in sand? Not enough sand.

He who has the courage to laugh is almost as much a master of the world as he who is ready to die. -- Giacomo Leopardi

A musician, an artist, an architect: the man or woman who is not one of these is not a Christian. -- William Blake

Humor in th Court: Q: Do you drink when you're on duty? A: I don't drink when I'm on duty, unless I come on duty drunk.

If a fool persists in his folly he shall become wise. -- William Blake

Q: How many IBM 370's does it take to execute a job? A: Four, three to hold it down, and one to rip its head off.

Man is the only animal that can remain on friendly terms with the victims he intends to eat until he eats them. -- Samuel Butler (1835-1902)

Drawing on my fine command of language, I said nothing.

Appearances often are deceiving. -- Aesop

The Pig, if I am not mistaken, Gives us ham and pork and Bacon. Let others think his heart is big, I think it stupid of the Pig. -- Ogden Nash

Humor in the Court: Q: (Showing man picture.) That's you? A: Yes, sir. Q: And you were present when the picture was taken, right?

Did you move a lot of KOREAN STEAK KNIVES this trip, Dingy?

Before you ask more questions, think about whether you really want to know the answers. -- Gene Wolfe, "The Claw of the Conciliator"

QOTD: "A university faculty is 500 egotists with a common parking problem."

Don't I know you?

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eZ debug

Clear cache:

Quick settings:

Timing: Jun 22 2026 05:06:41
Script start
Timing: Jun 22 2026 05:06:41
Module start 'content'
Timing: Jun 22 2026 05:06:41
Module end 'content'
Notice: Jun 22 2026 05:06:41
eZTemplate: Loading template "pagelayout.tpl" with resource "design"
Timing: Jun 22 2026 05:06:42
Script end
Notice: Jun 22 2026 05:06:42
eZTemplate: Loading template "setup/debug_toolbar.tpl" with resource "design"

Main resources:

Total runtime0.2595 sec
Peak memory usage14,336.0000 KB
Database Queries121

Timing points:

CheckpointStart (sec)Duration (sec)Memory at start (KB)Memory used (KB)
Script start 0.00000.0144 4,231.92971,183.6406
Module start 'content' 0.01440.0228 5,415.57031,788.3203
Module end 'content' 0.03720.2223 7,203.89063,165.5781
Script end 0.2595  10,369.4688 

Time accumulators:

 Accumulator Duration (sec) Duration (%) Count Average (sec)
Ini load
Load cache0.02348.9997330.0007
Check MTime0.01656.3689330.0005
Mysql Total
Database connection0.00040.145610.0004
Mysqli_queries0.164563.39811210.0014
Looping result0.00070.25661200.0000
Template Total0.228488.020.1142
Template load0.00803.081520.0040
Template processing0.220484.911020.1102
Override
Cache load0.00411.562220.0020
General
dbfile0.00281.0924190.0001
String conversion0.00000.001620.0000
Note: percentages do not add up to 100% because some accumulators overlap

CSS/JS files loaded with "ezjscPacker" during request:

CacheTypePacklevelSourceFiles
CSS0extension/ezwt/design/standard/stylesheets/websitetoolbar.css
extension/sevenx_themes_simple/design/simple/stylesheets/libs/fontawesome/css/all.min.css
extension/sevenx_themes_simple/design/simple/stylesheets/magnific-popup.css
extension/sevenx_themes_simple/design/simple/stylesheets/main.css
extension/sevenx_themes_simple/design/simple/stylesheets/main.res.css
extension/ezownerchange/design/standard/stylesheets/owner.css
JS0extension/ezwebin/design/ezwebin/javascript/insertmedia.js
extension/ezjscore/design/standard/javascript/jquery-1.10.2.min.js
extension/sevenx_themes_simple/design/simple/javascript/jquery.magnific-popup.js
extension/sevenx_themes_simple/design/simple/javascript/main.js

Templates used to render the page:

UsageRequested templateTemplateTemplate loadedEditOverride
1pagelayout.tpl<No override>extension/sevenx_themes_simple/design/simple/templates/pagelayout.tplEdit templateOverride template
1setup/debug_toolbar.tpl<No override>design/standard/templates/setup/debug_toolbar.tplEdit templateOverride template
 Number of times templates used: 2
 Number of unique templates used: 2

Time used to render debug report: 0.0002 secs